And Then I Fell Out the Window

Life, examined and punted around

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Back in the Saddle, Breaking the Rules: On Fear and Writing

I used to write on this blog a lot- I would write observations about people I knew, I’d write about funny things that happened at work. Somewhere along the line, I must have decided that either A) my life wasn’t worth writing about or B) my blog wasn’t “about” anything, and therefore it was taking up precious cyberspace. I also stopped journaling for myself.

Over the months, I started doing less and less interesting or remarkable things. Or maybe I was doing the same things as always, but I wasn’t poised with a pen to scribble down phrases that captured those little moments. Memories slipped through my fingers because I stopped being intent on capturing them. I had grown afraid that my life was actually too smart or insignificant to both writing about, and as a result, my life grew less interesting.

To write about what happens in your actual life is to confront a fear that your life isn’t what you want, or that it isn’t up to snuff with what other people expect a good life to be.

It’s been a rough year for me. I saw members of my family battle body and mental health issues. I got laid off from a job that I had planned to stay in for a good long while. The summer I was looking forward to turned into a stressful job hunt. And amidst all of this, I was imposing strict rules on myself to stay productive and keep creating things. I would break these rules on a daily basis and get frustrated and down on myself.

So I am┬árevitalizing this dusty blog. And if I’m going to write in it regularly, that means I’m going to knock down the rules I’d imposed. What you’ll find in the future may range from comic strips to album reviews to short fiction to recipes to tea tastings to, yes, observations from my daily life. Get ready for an eclectic smorgasbord. All aboard, giddee-up, and yee-haw.